Waking up with the past
by ncislove
Summary: Sometimes he wakes with the past, and sometimes he wakes with the future. Slight Engaged pt 1 spoilers. Gibbs/Shannon, Gibbs/Abby


Spoilers for Engaged Pt 1 and a little one for Devil's Triangle, but nothing really case related.

Also, I watched this scene over and over and over again and it twists the knife in my heart _just right._ To make me want to cry so hard for Gibbs… Like for reals, it twists deep.

0o0

The early morning sunlight flitted through the window and no matter how he tried to fight it, Gibbs found himself more and more awake. He reached for the warm body beside him and snuggled in close. "Looks like morning happened again," he pressed a lingering kiss to her shoulder, her red hair tickling his nose.

She laughed softly as she turned in his arms, welcoming his lazy kisses with a few of her own. "What's the plan today?"

"Ohh, I'm thinking hardware store." He nosed her cheek and pulled her in closer, his lips rarely leaving her skin.

"You mean they invited a tool you don't have in that basement of yours?"

The soft chuckle from Gibbs wasn't something many had heard, but here, in their bed, it was a common occurrence. "I need supplies."

"That's what I like to hear. I love it when you start something new," she traced a warm finger over his face. "What do you have in mind?"

Gibbs sighed thoughtfully. "Depends on the wood."

"I hope the wood says roll-top desk," she smiled and then turned to get up. She fell back to the mattress when a strong arm wrapped around her waist and pulled her back.

"I changed my mind. I'm thinking bed, all day," he laughed. "With you." He spooned up tightly behind her, holding her close so she wouldn't go. So he wouldn't lose her.

"Gibbs…."

"The hardware store will be there tomorrow." He always knew when he was about to lose her. He could feel it in his gut when she pulled away and sat up to look at him; he knew the rest of their time together was short.

"How are you going to get what you need if you don't let me go?"

He reached up to tuck a strand of hair behind her ear and cupped her face, unsure of how to answer her. His cell phone ringing pulled him back to consciousness and he wasn't surprised to find himself on the couch alone.

He woke with Shannon often. She hadn't come to him until shortly before his first marriage. She had told him he was too angry before to accept her into his mind so she had waited for a bit of the fight to drain from him. She hadn't been pleased with his first wife, but she had kept her comments to herself, content to be a bit of relief for Gibbs, knowing that he always seemed better tempered when he could be with her. She would go away for stretches of time, but was always there when she knew he needed her.

Stephanie she had liked and Diane she had understood. For reasons she couldn't explain she had stayed away during his time with Jenny, and she hadn't been around until the last time Gibbs saw Hollis and she had stumbled upon the tape that Kelly had sent him.

0o0

Sometimes Shannon was dreamlike and his alarm or phone would wake him. Other times she was there when he woke and eventually faded away or disappeared if he took his eyes off of her. At first he had been afraid of her, not sure of what she was or how she could really be there with him, but he had learned to accept it, to keep his mouth shut (he had tried explaining it to his first wife, but she had called him crazy), and to enjoy what time he had with her. His team was worried that he was lonely, but between them and the visits from Shannon, he was nowhere near lonely.

The days dragged on, one bleeding into another. They solved case after case, except _that one_ and he still beat himself up for it, vowing to find that dirt bag Captain Stewart, even if it had meant working the case from the comfort of his basement.

He remembered packing up for the night, reaching to switch off his lamp and send the others home. He looked up at the sound of clunky boots rushing into the squad room and saw Abby, a grin on her face. "Abbs?"

"Gather round, kids," she waved his entire team over to his desk. "So the cases we've been working lately have been pretty open and shut with very little needed from me. So I kept digging around the Stewart case and look what I found…" She held up a piece of paper with a few numbers.

"What is it?" Gibbs took the paper and looked over the numbers.

"I wasn't sure at first, because it's was on the back of an old photograph I found while flipping searching through all the crap we have in storage, but the more I got to thinking," she went to McGee's computer and a few strokes on the keyboard later, an old family photograph popped up."

"With the exception of Stewart, all the people in that photograph are dead – the last one died 8 years ago of a heart attack."

"I know! But the numbers on the back. I thought it was some kind of labeling thing, but it's the location of the house in this photograph. The house is still standing; it's an old farm house in Virginia. Stewart might be there!"

Gibbs typed in the coordinates and sure enough, the old house popped up on the map. It was miles away from any other house, surrounded by rolling hills. No one would notice any activity there. "Grab your gear, we're going for a drive. Thanks Abbs." He kissed her cheek with practiced ease.

0o0

He wasn't expecting Shannon the next time he saw her.

It was still dark when he woke and reached for the warm body beside him, nuzzling against the back of her neck, her familiar scent filling his nose.

Gibbs opened his eyes and looked up surprised to see Shannon. She was sitting on the edge of the bed, looking down at Gibbs as he lay wrapped around Abby the way he often had been with her. She reached down and tucked a stray lock of hair behind Abby's ear. "She's beautiful."

Gibbs nodded. "She is." He pressed a kiss to Abby's shoulder and then eased himself away from her and got out of bed. Shannon followed him to the old trunk that was against the wall and together they sat, both watching the sleeping scientist. He had fallen for Abby long ago, but that night was the first time they'd ever taken things further.

"You really love her."

"How do you know?"

"I can see it in your eyes. And normally you try to explain why there was someone else in your bed those times that I showed up and you weren't alone."

"You didn't like my ex-wives."

Shannon smiled. "I didn't like the first one. And neither did you."

Gibbs looked guilty.

"I liked Stephanie, but you two would have been better off as friends. And Diane… she loved you, so much, I understood her, but you… you only ever _liked_ her."

He nodded. He didn't need Shannon to tell him all of that, deep down he knew it too. And admitting it to Diane several weeks earlier had been good for him. He had hated the way it made Diane feel, especially after she had told him he had been her Shannon, but in the end he felt better for having told her the truth. "What about her?"

They both watched Abby sigh in her sleep and clutch the pillow a little closer.

"She funny, she's sweet, she knows you… almost more than you know yourself."

Gibbs grinned. "Tell me something I don't know."

Shannon was quiet for a moment. "She loves me."

Gibbs' head snapped up to look at his late wife.

Shannon laughed quietly. "Not the way that you do," she teased, "but she loves me. She often wonders what I was like. If… she wonders if I were still alive, if we would be friends. Some nights, after a hard case for you she prays for us to switch places, my life for hers, so that I could help you."

Gibbs frowned at the thought. He knew he could never have her back, not in any real way, but the idea of losing Abby just like how he had lost her was more painful than he wanted to deal with. He would never deny that if Shannon was still alive he would pick her over anyone, but if he had the option to trade Abby away to have her back, he wasn't sure he could do that. Not after all these years. "Just how much time do you spend with her?"

"Sometimes she needs me more than you. She has her own dark demons, Gibbs. Just because she isn't out chasing down the bad guys, doesn't mean that she isn't haunted by them or their victims just like you."

He itched to reach out and touch her, to crawl back in bed and wrap himself tightly around her.

"Go…" Shannon nodded.

"Am I… will I lose you now?" She had always told him he would never get what he needed if he didn't let her go.

She shook her head. "No. You'll never lose me. But you have what you need now." She urged him back to bed. "She'll be awake soon. Both of you need to learn that sleep is a good thing. Wouldn't hurt either of you to sleep in and eat some real food every now and again."

He stood and circled back around to his side of the bed.

"Oh, and tell her yes."

Gibbs hesitated before sliding back between the sheets. "Yes?"

"We would be friends."

He smiled and looked down at Abby. When he looked up again, Shannon was gone.

"Where'd you go?" Abby mumbled sleepily and turn to Gibbs, pressing her face against his chest as he scooted in close.

"Bathroom. Go back to sleep, it's still early."

"It's getting to be light."

"I know," he leaned in to kiss her and rubbed his nose against her cheek. "But I want to spend the day in bed, with you."

"Oh really?" She opened her eyes for the first time and looked up at him through her long lashes as she slipped a leg between his.

He grinned at her and closed his eyes. "Mm hmm, but first I think you need a bit more sleep. You know, more strength to keep up with me. I might be older than you, but I pack quite the punch."

"Oh you're packin' alright, but sounds good. Can't remember the last time I slept in."

"Me either." He pulled her in as tightly as possible against his body and sighed happily at the familiar warmth of being curled up with someone he loved.

0o0

The End.


End file.
